Cornelius Fudge: Devils Food
by Rita Skeeter xx
Summary: The autobiography of Cornelius Fidge, written by Rita Skeeter. Expect many lies,secrets and scams through-out the life of Cornelius Fudge and how he contributed to the deaths of many during you-know-whos reign. The secrets unleashed will stupefy your mind
1. A prophecy is born

**Chapter One - A Prophecy is Born**

Cornelius Oswald Fudge was born on 18th March, 1917. And with his birth, as rumour had it, came a prophecy. The prophecy was made by none other than the celebrated seer, Cassandra Trelawney as one of her last prophecies before her tragic death in 1919. The great-great-grandmother of family dissapointment, Sybill Trelawney, who, to this day, is known to have not made one correct prediction or prophecy and is currently teaching Divination alongide a centaur named Firenze in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The rumour also said that the only known people to have heard the prophecy are dead except for Cornelius himself. Well, the rumour is correct, but what was to say these people didn't pass on the prophecy? Well, of course I did my research as always and found the only other person ever to have known the contents of the prophecy. In Cornelius' fifth year of Hogwarts, he met a girl and fell in love, the girl was quite pretty and eventually he dicided it was wrong to keep secrets from his girlfriend. However, he broke the girls heart and she was more than happy to share the prophecy with me. Muriel Prewett was more than keen to get revenge on Cornelius, "_I knew he never deserved me but I loved him! And he broke my ruddy heart, the old fool. He should have known one day I'd get my revenge, should have realised the powerful, clever woman I am. Instead of running off with that Delores bimbo! I told him, I warned him, and he's ended up alone now hasn't he? Getting on in his years with that stupid girl still running around after him! And no one's to blame but himself and his eye for pink puffballs! Rita darling, I'd be delighted to share his secret with you and the wizarding world! Lets get straight to it shall we? I remember the exact words of that prophecy as if he told me yesterday!"_

_We were heading down to Hogsmeade for the Easter Break when Cornelius took my hand and pulled me in beind some trees. I asked what he was doing but he told me, he said, "I just can't stand it anymore! I'm sorry Muriel, I'm keeping a secret from you. But it ends now. When I was born a prophecy was made." I told him he was just being ridiculous but I was hoping he would tell me, I was always keen on secrets! Especially shocking ones that you're not supposed to tell. Anyway, he continued, "Muriel, when I was born a prohecy was made, I've never told anyone this before but I want you to know what it said."  
>"Well, okay then. Fire away"<br>"You promise you'll still love me?"  
>"I promise."<br>"And you won't tell anyone?"  
>I remember snaking by arm behind my back and crossing my fingers then, "Nope."<br>"Right, er well, it said, **Born on this day a baby child, although he may seem small and mild, will grow to wreck and ruin life and help the cause of wizard strife, power is a bad proposal, for that brings out the worst in people, keep him sane and keep him safe, do not allow him to take the bait.  
><strong>"Er, that's it."  
>"That's it? Well it's more of a warning really!"<br>"Eh, yes, I quite agree."  
>"What are you blithering about? I've never heard such a hord of nonsense in my life!"<br>"I knew it, you hate me! You're scared of me! I should have listened to mother!"  
>He tried to run away then, but being the fool I was, I pulled him back and kissed him, didnt I? What a stupid girl I was! Falling for a man who was dumb as a doorbell! It was ridiculous.<br>__Well, Rita, that's the story and the prophecy, glad I could be of help to the best author of all time! I must go now, my nephew is having another wedding reception, the last one was gatecrashed by death-eaters! Of course I don't approve of the marriage, some blond bimbo from France! Very pretty but don't let her borrow anythng, she doesn't give it back for about a year! Bye now Rita! Good luck with your book!_

There you have it! Cornelius Fudge was destined to contribute to the downfall of freedom in the wizarding world since day one. How he kept this a secret from wizard-kind is a highly dangerous mistake and I'm sure, now that you know, there will be consequences, thinking You-Know-Who could have been stopped sooner, families saved! Could some of the great losses suffered in the Battle of Hogwarts and indeed the lead up o the war, down to Cornelius Fudge? I, my friends, believe they were. Imagine all the caution that would have been taken, the protection put on wizards and witches alike if he had of told us, instead of cowering behind his power and telling us lies! Printing lies in the Daily Prophet, spreading lies around the Ministry and, indeed employing Delores Umbridge the, as Muriel put it 'Bimbo', to spread lies around Hogwarts, and discourage the use of magical protection! How stupid and Absurd! But we shall get to that in our later chapters. Now we must continue with the life of Cornelius Oswald Fudge.


	2. Early Days

**Chapter 2 - Early years**

Cornelius' parents were worried after they heard the prophecy but nevertheless, they ignored its warning and brought Cornelius up as if nothing had ever happened. He was an only child and the reason for this can only be that Mr and Mrs Fudge were afraid that their children would all hold a terrible curse. But as a mere child, Cornelius did not understand his parents wariness around him and why they didn't like him socialising with other wizards and witches. His parents eventually stopped being cautious and let him do what he liked. This, my fellow witches and wizards, led to a great accident in the year of 1921, on Cornelius' fourth birthday.

Many will not have thought it, but Cornelius Fudge has been causing murder since a very early age! I have found out more information from Gilderoy Lockhart Snr, poor father of mentally ill Gilderoy Lockhart Jnr. Gilderoy Snr. witnessed the deaths of five muggles, at the hands of Cornelius Fudge at Bray Street, where he lived on 18th March 1921.

"_It was terrible, smoke everywhere! I remember running outside in my pyjamas at ten o clock at night after hearing a deafening boom, my mother and father behind me. Suddenly the smoke cleared and I saw a sight that would haunt me forever. Cornelius Fudge, standing amonst the remains of five muggle bodies. It is the clearest memory I have from my youth. Two little girls, no older than six, a man, and a woman. They were a family, they lived next door to Cornelius, two doors down from us. I was only just turned five at the time. We had celebrated my birthday the week before. Of course it caused the ministry a lot of strife! Many of the muggles had emerged from their houses like us, to see the boy standing amongst what was left of the muggles, making a lot of hard work for the Obliviators. Nobby Leach was minister for magic. A reasonable bloke, he kept the incident to himself and made sure the obliviators did too. Cornelius was let off with a warning, I remember Leach saying he was 'Just a youngin' ' and 'Boys will be boys'. He must have went to a lot of trouble to keep it a secret, especially from the Daily Prophet! If you were around at the time, Rita, the world would know the bastard Cornelius is!"_

So there you have it. Cornelius Oswald Fudge, brutal muggle killer. He is a comlete hypocrite, as I'm sure you all remember his slogan when he was campaigning for Minister for Magic in 1990. "**A Fair Deal for Wizards who Deal Fair with Muggles.**" Cornelius manipulated every witch and wizard in Britain, lied and pretended. Fudge told us muggles were good people, convinced us to like them, when really, he went and got them blown up in secret with the help of other ministers. In fact, I have recently found out that the Ministers for Magic Delegation, the M.F.M.D, really stands for Manic for Muggle Deaths! So you see, every Minister ever to have charged over Britain has been a liar, a manipulator, a cheat and a murderer.

After the "G.M.A." (great muggle achievement) as Leach called it, the Fudges moved to Godrics Hollow, bringing with them more murders and bad luck. Cornelius Fudge is blamed for bringing bad luck to the small wizarding community and that this caused the Dumbledore accidents and the murders of the Potters and Bathilda Bagshot.

**Small Note: I am aware that the first two chapters have been very short but they will get longer, it's hard to write a lot on Cornelius Fudges youth as a lot of it comes into later chapters and I don't want to give it away.**

**Lots of love to all of my dear fans, _Rita Skeeter xx _**


	3. The Wrong Sort

**Chapter Three - The Wrong Sort**

1928 dawned, and with it, Fudge's first year at Hogwarts. Of course before he went to Hogwarts, Fudge and his mum had to take a trip to Diagon Alley. They bought everthing they needed. But then, Fudge was seen giving his mother the slip. Cornelius is not aware that he was followed that evening, by none other than Elphias Dogue. Dogue was one of the few who had heard about Fudge's muggle attacks, him being close to Dumbledore who's mother knew Bathilda Bagshot, who knew everyone and everything! Old Dogue-ie is reaching his end now, so his memory's a bit battered! It took a long time and a lot of hard work, but I finally managed to get it out of him.

_I was in my sixth year at Hogwarts, best friends with the famous Albus Dumbledore, who lovingly extended his hand to a poor, nerdy boy with dragon-pocks. It was always hard being friends with Albus, who was always winning awards and acheiving things! I was supposed to be meeting him in Diagon Alley, but he sent a letter to me saying that he couldn't make it and he was sorry. I thought to myself, 'He's probably off with that Gelert Grindelwald git again'.  
>But then I was distracted by someone shouting out 'Cornelius' at the top of her voice. That's when I saw him sneaking around a corner, glancing warily back at his mother.<em>

"Cornelius! Where have you got to? Cornelius?" _his mother looked frantic, worried. I wondered what could be so wrong._

_I suddenly got the urge to follow him, as if fate implied I should, so I ran down the alley after him, following the only corner and reading a sign saying **'Knockturn Alley**.'_

_I raced around the corner to see the tail of Fudge's cloak swishing into a building and disappearing. I attempted a disillusement charm, thinking about what Albus had told me. 'Focus on fading away, not blending in or dissapearing.' I did just that, and for the first and only time in my life, rendered myself invisible._

_I continued on then, seeing the name of the shop Cornelius had entered. '**Borgin and Burkes**'. I knew the shop, my mother had mentioned it before. She said it was bad, full of dark magic. I quietly slipped inside, hoping my presence would remain un-noticed. The door creaked slightly when I closed it but luckily it was a windy day and no one paid any attention to it. A middle-aged man stood behind the counter, Borgin, and just then another man emerged from a door opening to reveal a stair-case, Burke._

_Then I saw Fudge. He was wandering around the shop like a first year on his first trip to Honeydukes! He made his way up to the counter then, a small bit of rope in his hand. I wanted to see what it was, check it out, but he was leaving and I had to slip out behind him, the wind had died down by then and I didn't think I could get lucky twice! I kept a watchful eye on Fudge from then on, but apparently, not watchful enough._

Fudge made his way back from Borgin and Burkes, stopping only to check if anyone was watching as he sneaked out of the alley and back into the busier Diagon Alley, never realising that someone had followed him, someone knew where he had gone. Fudge found his mother then, she had been too worried to be angry at him so he got off lightly. They finished their shopping and Fudge wasn't seen again until the 1st Septemer at platform 9 and 3/4.

It was a dismal day. Fudge and his parents were saying their good-byes on the platform, next to the big, red steam engine. Fudge quickly found a compartment and sat by himself, not having any relatives or friends in the school. He sat and waited, until a small boy slid open the comparment door and asked if he could sit with Fudge. His mum had warned him to stay away from the 'wrong sort'.

"D'ya mind if I sit in here?" the boy sat down anyway, regardless to Cornelius' answer.

"No, of course, sit down." Fudge looked slightly nervous.

"Whats yer name? I'm Gerry, Gerry Kasse!" Kasse put his feet up on the seat opposite, beside Fudge.

"Cornelius Fudge. Are you a first year?" Fudge decided the boy was alright and sat up a bit straighter.

"Ah, course I am! But yah don' get many firs' years as 'andsome as me!" The boy grinned at Fudge, who grinned back.

"What house do you want to be in?" Fudge was getting more and more excited by the minute, he was finally going to Hogwarts!

"Well, Gryffindor'd be great, but I think I'm more of a Hufflepuff. Me mam was in Hufflepuff, and me da' was in Gryffindor, but I am a lot like me mam!"

"My whole family have been in Ravenclaw, but who knows where I'll be put?"

Just then a beautiful young girl with curly brown hair and big brown eyes entered the compartment. "Excuse me, but do you mind if I sit with you? My friends, are very, hmmm...rowdy, today."

" 'ave a seat!" Kasse spoke first.

"Thank you." She looked happy enough, but sat as far away from Gerry as she could, obviously judging him by his accent and dishevelled robes.

"Whats your name?" Cornelius had to know about her, she was the most beatiful girl he had ever seen!

"Muriel...Muriel Prewett." At that moment a shout was heard outside the compartment, "Anything from the trolley?"

In his haste, Cornelius stood up and wacked Muriel in the eye with his elbow. His whole face flushed scarlet, "I'm so sorry, that was an accident, are you okay?"

She jumped up and ran out of the compartment, huffing. Kasse was chuckling away in the corner.

"Oh shut up." Cornelius was now in a mood, a very bad mood. He had blown his chances with a very pretty girl. The girl would not be forgotten, and neither would the boy who laughed.

Cornelius stormed out to change into his robes, as they were arriving soon, but after he had changed, he did not return to the compartment, he had something else in mind. Something 'fun'. Something evil. Revenge.


	4. Revenge

This is a very short chapter, but I wanted to exaggerate what Fudge is capable of rather than making it a small part of a large chapter.

**Chapter Four - Revenge**

Fudge was not happy, his emotions uncontrollable, he marched out of the changing compartments. He was holding the small piece of string in his hand, and on his way to a compartment full of chatty first year girls. Among the girls he noticed Prewett. Her eye was black, and she was gesturing wildly as she told a group of awe-struck girls what had happened. He would never live this down.

_What happened next is taken from the memory of Sarah Harbuen, who was in the compartment sitting opposite Muriel._

There were six first year girls in the compartment, three were listening as Muriel spoke animatedly about the hard blow by Fudge.

The other two were gossiping quietly in the corner. Suddenly the door was slid over, slamming into the wall. The girls screamed.

Suddenly Muriel screamed 'OUCH' and was holding her head in her hands and rubbing her eyes.

The door shut. There was thick smoke covering the compartment.

No one had seen Cornelius, no one but Harbuen, who was too distraught and disturbed by what had just happened. She was not the brightest and was confused by the awful sight she saw next.

Muriel held her head up, causing the girls to scream again. She took a small compact mirror from her pocket and almost as soon as she had looked in it, it was lying all over the floor, shattered into a hundred pieces.

Muriel ran to the bathroom crying. Sarah quickly running after her.

Muriel's big brown eyes were no longer big or brown, they were small red slits, resembling that of a snakes.

She cried for the rest of the journey, sitting in a compartment with Sarah, who didn't have the slightest clue what to say. Eventually a potion was cooked up to turn her eyes brown again, but they would not change shape.

Professor Dippet, principal of Hogwarts was unable to do anything about the powerful dark magic. The Hogwarts Express was searched, for any evidence of what might have caused the accident, but only a single piece of string was found.


End file.
